I lost my horse this weekend. Some may think I am crazy for grieving an animal... yet this little horse was special. She has lived half my life with me and has been a good friend.
Libby and I met when I was 13 years old. She was rescued by Crystal Please Youth Ranch from starvation and abuse. Similarly my life had just fallen apart. I wanted to end my life. I was tired of living. Tired of fighting, everything in my life was crumbling down. I had no hope... no reason to live.
I remember the first time that I saw her. Kim (owner of the ranch) and I walked up to the round pen where she was running around franticly, with no one in there. Frightened and scared all she knew to do was to run.
Over the next few years we spent most of our days together... learning to trust each other. We had both lost all trust in those around us... but somehow this little horse taught me to trust, taught me to believe in myself, gave me something to live for and ultimately lead me to the loving hands of the Lord.
I spent every moment I could on her back... and when I was 16 years old she was given to me as my christmas present.
We rode in the mountains...
endurance raced in a few different states, jumped everything we could find, including wheel lines...
whenever something hard or bad happened in my life, she was the one I would run to... crying my tears in her mane. She knew every secret that I had.
As I grew older, trying to figure out what life is about, I spent many days and night praying as I lay on her back...
The Lord used her to save my life. For over half my life this little horse has been there for me. When everyone else left, when no one was there to dry my tears or even knew what was going on in my life. She did. She knew it all... and she still love me.
I could whistle across a pasture and her head would pop up... you could hear her knicker and she would usually trot over to see what I wanted. Not always, she was an Arab and a mare, so she had her days and months of attitude. But consistently she wanted to live life with me.
I will miss my sweet girl. She wasn't perfect... actually most people thought she was crazy. But she was just what I needed in my life. She was a gift for a little girl who had no reason to live... and as I grew up she became a wonderful friend for all the adventures in my life.
Lord, you know how I am struggling with this. You have chosen to take much from me these last 6 months, and I am not sure why. But I trust in you... I trust that you are still good and loving, although I don't understand. I choose to trust in you.
I will miss you my little Libby, thank you showing me how to love life again!
Kels, I didn't know Libby was gone. :-( So sad. I know how much you loved her.
ReplyDeleteOh, Kelsie, My heart is sad for you and your loss. It is not at all strange to mourn an animal. And Dakota--Gail told me that you had to put her down. You are a very good pet owner; your animals know that they are loved and cared for. I can only imagine how much you miss both of your companions. Thank God, he gave you a human companion who is kind and loving and into whose arms you can run and upon whose shoulders you can now cry! Allow yourself to cry and miss Libby. God understands; he is the one whose idea it was to make the animals in the first place. :) I love you, Paula
ReplyDeleteKelsie! I read this and I couldn't help but cry! I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend; I saw so much transformation in both of you over the years as the Lord brought the two of you together! She wasn't crazy...she was exactly what you needed and God knew that! Though it is a time of grieving for you, you will ALWAYS have reason to rejoice because of the great works God did in both of your lives. I love you Kelsie, and will be praying for you during this time!
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